The Morning After
by RobinL
Summary: Babe oneshot.


Title: The Morning After

Author: Robin

Disclaimer: In my mind, Ranger is all mine. In reality, he belongs to Steph and JE.

A/N: This is dedicated to all of the supportive, caring and talented women who have come into my life through this online community of fanatics. I can't tell you how much I appreciate you. This HEA is for you.

Rating: PG

Dawn was just starting to creep over the windowsill, highlighting the form of the man lying next to her. He was on his side, hands pillowed under his cheek and she lay facing him, mirroring his position. His eyes were closed, long dark lashes brushing against his cheeks, long dark hair in sexy disarray, a night's growth of beard shadowing his jaw. In repose, he looked younger and unguarded, almost vulnerable.

They had only rested for brief snatches during the night, their bodies gravitating toward each other again and again, as if magnetized. Finally, near dawn, they'd curled up in each other's arms to sleep. She'd waited until his breathing evened out before moving, savoring the weight of his arms around her body and the feel of his smooth, mocha skin against hers. That he hadn't felt her pull away was an indication of his exhaustion and her lips curved into a self-congratulatory smile at the thought. She'd worn him out. Of course, she was tired too, but she didn't want to miss another moment of this night. There would be time enough for sleeping after he left in the morning.

She could recall every caress and soft endearment, each pleasurable moan and moment of ecstasy they had exchanged, with perfect clarity. The memory alone was enough to heat her blood and it took everything she had to keep from reaching out and waking him with her touch, her kiss. But then she would miss this chance to admire him. And this opportunity was unusual. Awake, his sex appeal was so overwhelming that, like with a solar eclipse, she almost couldn't look directly at him. She had looked at him, of course, but not like this. Now she was drinking in the sight of him with a thirst that could never be quenched. He was beautiful. The white sheet was riding low on his hip baring the landscape of his chest with all of its muscular ridges and valleys. A dusting of dark hair concentrated into a dark pathway disappearing beneath the sheet and leading to the most impressive equipment to ever grace a male body. God had really outdone himself with this man.

They had only shared one night in the past. At the time, she'd been so intimidated by him that she'd not taken the time to thoroughly explore him. He had led and she had followed, nervous that if she did the wrong thing or moved the wrong way, she'd disappoint and he'd never return to her bed. As it was, they hadn't been together like this in the intervening years. During that time, she'd often regretted that she hadn't taken advantage of the opportunity to study this feral man while she'd had him in captivity.

Last night she remedied that, inspecting every inch, kissing every scar, worshiping him with fingers, lips and tongue from top to bottom. She learned every part of him by heart so that this time when he left her bed cold, at least she'd have vivid memories to keep her warm.

If she could freeze time, she would be happy to spend an eternity in this moment, but even as she had the thought, the moment was slipping from her and time was marching forward. The light was strengthening, and while she enjoyed the way it played on his skin, she dreaded what it brought with it. Morning meant a return to reality. Reality meant that he'd go his way and she'd go hers and every so often their ways would intersect, but only fleetingly. There was no permanence to their arrangement. In fact if there was an arrangement at all, it was that there could be no permanence, no commitment, no future.

With the new day, came the ugly truth that she had decided to put aside for one magical night. He didn't want a relationship. He'd told her that after their first night and repeated it on multiple occasions since. It was partly because his life was dangerous and partly because he was used to making decisions based on what suited him, not considering the wants and needs of a lover. They hadn't discussed it recently – it was something she preferred to avoid, like prodding an open wound – but there was no reason to think anything had changed.

He'd once said that if her bed was empty for long, he'd be back in it. It took him a long time to make good on that threat. More than a year. But, last night was an exception; she couldn't let it become a habit. She didn't want to be in a casual relationship, especially now that her heart was involved. And she knew without doubt that it was. She was in love with him – enough to pass up other chances at happiness with other men, but not enough to sacrifice her own dignity. Being alone was preferable to living a lie. And having nothing of this man was better than losing herself. Being with him was amazing – beyond words, actually – but she'd given him a piece of her heart last night. It would be too easy to give him everything she had and wind up with nothing left in the end. She could handle being alone, but not if she was only a shadow of herself.

She knew she couldn't allow it to continue and probably shouldn't have let it happen at all. But it was inevitable. They'd been flirting with the temptation, off and on, for months. The close call she'd had yesterday, though, pushed them over the edge. A routine apprehension had turned into the worst-case-scenario, and her brush with death had been so close that she'd almost reached out and touched it. After he'd found her, she'd needed to feel alive, needed something beautiful to erase the ugly memories and the fears of what could have happened. He'd needed to hold her and assure himself that she was okay, that he hadn't been too late. Together they had soothed and comforted each other, making love with reverence and tenderness. Afterwards they'd reveled in one another, coming together with wild abandon and perfect joy. And in the morning, which was drawing ever closer, they would part and try to act as if they hadn't touched each other's souls.

Her eyes drooped and she suppressed a yawn. In her mind, she was wide awake, but her body was worn out. Still, she fought the pull of sleep. If this was going to be a one time thing, she wanted to savor every last moment of it.

She yawned again, unable to keep it in this time, and he stirred. Stretching his arms overhead, his eyes fluttered open and a soft smile curved his lips when he saw that she was awake.

"Why are you so far away from me, Babe?" he asked, his voice low and rough from sleep. He curled his arm around her waist and scooted her toward him until she was nestled against his chest, her head pillowed on one of his bulging biceps. She pressed her lips to his collarbone and shivered when he ran a hand along the ridge of her spine.

"I was just looking," she murmured against his chest. The tip of her tongue darted out to taste his skin.

"Mmmmmm," the sound rumbled beneath her lips as her hand roamed across his chest and coasted down his side until it rested on his hip, just below the sheet. "I like it better when you touch," he said, throwing his leg over her hip and drawing her so close that they were skin to skin from head to toe.

He tilted her head back and kissed her softly, languidly for endless minutes, not releasing her lips until he'd had his fill. When he did finally pull back, he dropped a kiss on the end of her nose and asked with a yawn, "Why aren't we sleeping, Babe? It's not even six, yet."

She only hesitated for a minute before deciding to tell the truth. "You'll be leaving soon, and I don't want to miss this."

"Why would I be going anywhere?" he asked, his hand stilled, ceasing its rhythmic stroking of her back.

She swallowed and suddenly felt overwhelmed by his nearness. Flight was her first instinct and she tried to roll onto her back to put some space between them, but his arm tightened around her. She was effectively trapped. Staring at his chest, she flushed with embarrassment, not wanting to meet his eyes.

"Tell me, Stephanie," he demanded softly, but firmly.

"I thought… well… It's just…" she said, struggling to answer his question without sounding pathetic, "Last time, you didn't exactly stick around."

"What makes you think this is going to be like last time?" he asked, his voice calm, but she didn't need ESP to tell he was working at it.

She wasn't nearly as adept at controlling herself and her response wasn't nearly so calm. "What reason do I have to think it'll be different?"

With that, his emotions totally cut off like a switch had been flipped. She was looking into flat, blank eyes and it pissed her off.

"Oh no. No, you don't," she said, his emotionless reaction sparking her emotional one. "You're the one who said you didn't do relationships."

"And you said we wouldn't end up back here if we weren't in one." His voice was hard, angry even, and for a moment she wished for the return of the blank mask. "Did you think I was lying last night?"

Her eyes slid away from his, and as strange as it sounded, even though she was still in his arms, she felt like he was miles away. "No," she said, remembering the words he'd said, words which had been bittersweet to hear. They had both confessed their love as they held each other in the aftermath of their passion. She'd only partially believed his confession because she knew that when he said 'I love you,' it wasn't the kind that came with a commitment. But he had said it, and in his own way he thought it was true. "No… I know you meant it, but I also know what you didn't mean."

His arms loosened and she rolled onto her back, finally able to give in to her initial choice of flight over fight. After all, it was the Stephanie Plum way. He followed her, though, rolling on top of her, his weight pinning her to the bed beneath him. She pushed ineffectively at his shoulders, but it would have been easier moving a mountain. He remained there, hovering over her, the bulk of his weight resting on his arms and knees.

"Babe," he said, "Look at me." When she didn't respond, he kissed her, eyes open, persisting until she melted into him. "Look at me," he whispered against her lips, not breaking the kiss. Her eyelids fluttered open and she was looking into his dark chocolate eyes, tears pooling at the corners of her own.

When he spoke, his lips moved against hers, his breath mingled with hers and his eyes were mesmerizing. She couldn't look away. "I'm sorry for the things I've said in the past. When I said them, I thought it was for the best. But things have changed. I thought you realized that, too."

"I don't know what's changed for you." The tears in her eyes started to leak in slow trails down the sides of her face. "I know for me the difference is that this time when you go, I might not get over it." Her words were half whisper, half sob.

With his hands cradling her head, he gently wiped the moisture from her face with his thumbs. "Babe. Listen to me now. When you went off the grid yesterday, I spent five of the worst hours of my life trying to track you down, half afraid that I wouldn't find you in time. And I spent every moment of it wishing that I hadn't kept you at arms length for so long, wasting all of this time. Last night, when I told you I love you, I meant exactly that. I love you. When I said, I never want to be without you, that is what I meant to say. I never want to be without you. I don't care what we call it or how legally binding we make it. Whatever makes you happy. What matters to me is that I get to kiss you before I go to sleep each night and wake up every morning with you in my arms."

Last night, in the heat of passion, she hadn't dared to believe him. She hadn't been able to see past the things he'd said so long ago. But now, in the waxing light of day, she did believe him and it was almost too good to be true. She was stunned speechless and the tears began to well again, but this time they were the happy kind.

He leaned his forehead down on hers and in a voice rough with emotion, said, "I'm tired of staying away from you. I want to spend my nights with you and know that you're spending your nights with me. I want to be the only one in your life and for you to know that you are the only one in mine. You have been all along."

She curled one hand into the silky hair at the back of his head and brought his lips down to hers, accepting his offer with her kiss. In that kiss, she offered up all of herself knowing now that he was giving her everything back in return. The kiss was pure magic and if they hadn't spent themselves so thoroughly the night before, it would have led to much more.

He rolled them back onto their sides, their legs tangled together, their bodies flush against one another. "I love you," she whispered, her breath caressing his skin as she cuddled into him.

"I love you," he answered and pressed his lips to her forehead. "Now, close your eyes and go to sleep. And this time, stay. When I wake up, I don't want you to be so far away."

She smiled, "I promise, as long as you promise to be here when I open my eyes."

His voice was serious when he answered, "I promise. I'm not going anywhere. Not ever again."

And they fell asleep, wrapped in each other's embrace, that day and every day after.

_The end_


End file.
